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Thread: New spacecraft presented

  1. #11
    Senior Member astromark's Avatar
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    Default Re: New spacecraft presented

    " You said 'FREE' that does not look free from here.
    Always listening, watching, learning. Wanting to comment not judge.

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    Senior Member Hamiltonian's Avatar
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    Default Re: New spacecraft presented

    The free text is two clicks away - click on the link, then click on "Look Inside" on the Amazon page. Scroll.

    But it's a novel. There's a lot of stuff that has nothing to do with the spacecraft, and very little clear physical description of the spacecraft.
    Intelligence is the diamond and intellectualism only the facets. I've known many a beautifully faceted rhinestone.

    Isaac Asimov

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    Default Re: New spacecraft presented

    Quote Originally Posted by astromark View Post
    ... then do the honorable thing and present your description of it here. A direct link would sufice... Asking us to go to Amazon and down load... Yawn.. 'no'. If you want for a discussion. Give me something to discus.. Asking me to go look for it... never going to happen.
    mark: the honorable thing would be for you to discontinue your role as a spoiled brat - to think that you cannot be bothered unless you are spoon-fed like an infant. You wish, instead for me to re-write that which is already done, and only for your vanity. I do not share you arrogance, which, to date, has done me in good stead. You also failed to notice the link provided above, which demonstrates your lack of attention and highlights your questionable intentions. Please understand that if anything, I do not wish to support laziness and sloth, so please go elsewhere - "never make it happen" in your words, with my blessing. Science is hard work, and you do not appear to make muster.
    For the rest of you, sorry for the rant, but this guy is a 'senior member', and to me his attitude places the whole venue in a bad light. The orbiter is a future with significant probability. I've modeled it and simply invite you to see that possible future. You can choose to read about it or not - without cost, dependent only upon your interest in orbiters. You are welcome to use the above, provided link (I should have posted the link earlier), select the 'Look Inside' option and read. Enjoy, ask questions, & expand the model here as you wish, and I will be attentive. Cheers!

  4. #14
    Senior Member astromark's Avatar
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    Default Re: New spacecraft presented

    Quote Originally Posted by J. Sherlock Brown III View Post
    My new novel, The Boson Maru is part one of the Acoustic Lens Series. It is available on amazon for kindle. Chapters one and two describe a new orbiter.
    You can go to amazon, and the 'teaser' permits you to read almost the whole two chapters without buying (only $4 US). You can review the craft.
    I wrote those chapters about thirty years ago, and finally finished the novel & published in January 2012. After those three decades of self-critique, it remains a valid model.
    Have fun!
    Some time ago I did. No thanks to you but from Hamiltonian and Mugaliens guidance I did go back and look for.. and found, and have poured over your space craft 'Orbiter'. So thank you for assisting me to find the free read. I might have seemed uncharitable to you but you need not rant because of our/my silence. GOOD on you for writing a novel of science fiction. What I have read does not inspire me to rush off and purchase the "The Boson Maru" but I do wish you well and good fortune.. I have membership of a library of novels on line. That your book will turn up soon on 'Kindle' I trust. Interesting and a film maybe..?
    Always listening, watching, learning. Wanting to comment not judge.

  5. #15
    Senior Member mugaliens's Avatar
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    Default Re: New spacecraft presented

    Quote Originally Posted by astromark View Post
    What I have read does not inspire me to rush off and purchase...
    Alas, I find myself in the same boat, but more because of age than the quality of material itself. I was spoiled in my youth, having stumbled across some of the best authors in the business. As I grow older, I follow the typical curve of becoming a more discriminating reader. As a writer I find myself becoming less will to muddle through anything that's poorly written, not that The Boson Maru is poorly written, as it's not. It's a decent read.

    Quote Originally Posted by J. Sherlock Brown III View Post
    Sorry mugaliens & mark. I really thought that anyone interested enough in a technical advent in orbiter design - to see what they will actually look like, would simply go to amazon.com, type in the novel's title and read about the ship - most of its description is in the opening chapters of the novel, which can be viewed for free. I had no idea you could be unwilling to do so.
    When nobody posted any questions or comments about the technology details, I presumed that nobody had interest. I developed the orbiter about thirty years ago, so I had hoped intelligence on here would bring it to construction sooner.
    I am currently defining Time, researching a new application for Roman-style aqueducts, patenting two new technologies for waste water treatment, and twenty other things. I have worked out the fundamentals on how Time is conserved at the Event Horizons of stars and black holes, Getting consults from professors on what the Roman ones accomplished vis-a-vis bacteria, have a meeting I must prepare for with one technology's grandfathers for which I must prepare, - and this is all before the end of this month. My ego is not wrapped up in a novel, and my absence is in part about working on other things.
    And yes, I would like everyone to read about the orbiter, and would like everyone to buy the book based upon its content and not because I am handsome, like Asimov did. Is that suspect for an author? And consider: who here is disingenuous?
    Putting on my editor's hat for a minute...

    Focusing on the technical elements instead of the characters is a common mistake among science fiction writers. Those who write fantasy, romance, or other genres make the same error by focusing on the landscape, a room, beach, or boat. Good writers treat these elements as props, not people. Readers find themselves enthralled with books for different reasons, but when they personally identify with the characters, that's what brings them back for more. Heinein's success resulted from his ability to weave a yarn about human relationships with all the hopes, dreams, hurts, and faults thereof woven into the background of his various props, such as Ariel's wings, Gay Deceiver (Zeb and Deety's multi-dimensional car), and the Stone family rocket.

    They're very good props, but Heinlein never lost focus on what the readers savored the most: The Human Story.

    That said, J., I think you did a good job! The writing is a bit stilted. Did you use an editor? Here's the sort of thing an editor provides, turning what's on Amazon into something like this:

    "Lieutenant First Class Tom Gordon was a study in modern space fodder. He'd graduated at the top of his Academy class and had the looks to match. He was prim and proper, too. Upright, good-looking, full of respect for the Corps, he cared about the the world in general, along with his mother, but he didn't really care about much else.

    Although he'd finished high school with honors, junior college with straight A's, and graduated at the top of his Academy class, he'd never played football. It's not that he wasn't a team player. He was. But girls vied for his affections, and failed. Guys liked and respected him, but he was never really accepted as part of the crowd. The psych staff labeled him as a chronic under-achiever and emotionally distant. His class rank earned him his slot on the next orbital launch, but the fact is, there wasn't much for him to do. Despite breezing through the highly competitive and demanding program, answers had come all too easily to Tom. He'd never really been challenged. If they got their way, SpaCom would resolve that oversight. Tom didn't know it, but he was travelling to meet them and experience the looming grinder of his free will."

    Couple of notes:

    Used a couple of times in context, there's no need to define SpaCom. Unlike technical writing where you'd do what you did, creative requiring not only doesn't require it, but it's better if you can pull off conveying the meaning without defining it.

    Avoid colloquialisms like "kissed-up" and "lasso." They limit the breadth of your audience, particularly future royalties.

    Avoid base elements like "butt" in the narrative. They're fine for a character to mention, such as a gruff sergeant saying, "Get yer butt up here, Dodd!" but they're out of place for the narrative.

    There are other notes, but these will do for starters. You could really benefit from a good editor, J.!
    My oath of office never expires. "God, who gave us life, gave us liberty. Can the liberties of a nation be secure when we have removed a conviction that these liberties are the gift of God?" - Thomas Jefferson. "I have far too long suffered fools. No longer will I tolerate the insufferable. Enjoy the vacuum." - Mugs

    PS: I scrambled my password, so no, I will not be responding. Get a clue.

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